Top 10… Movie Creatures

March 14, 2007 at 12:34 am 35 comments

10. Jabba the Hutt Star Wars Episodes I (1999), IV (1977), VI (1983)

“Ooo na beeta Wookie!” The fattest mob-lord in the galaxy was pure old-school animatronics. Jabba cost over half a million dollars to make and three puppeteers to operate. Plus, he had a lot of taste when it came to bikini picking.

9. The FlyThe Fly (1986)

Jeff Goldblum’s transformation into half-man, half-fly is disgustingly awesome. As his fingernails, teeth and hair begins to fall out and his skin gets a bit rough, it’s impossible not to go “eugh!”

8. The She-Witch Thing – Evil Dead 2 (1987)

Poor Ted Raimi spent hours on end cooped up in this sweaty witch suit. How cool is it when Ash gets trapped in the basement and then hears “I buried her…… IN THE CELLAR!” And then she turned into some weird bug-eyed thing that liked lullabies.

7. Gollum – Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)

One of the coolest schizophrenics on the big screen and a marvel of digital technology, Gollum was incredibly brought to life by the geniuses at Peter Jackson’s WETA. He impressively managed to be evil, pathetic, pitiful and funny all at the same time.

6. Gizmo – Gremlins (1984), Gremlins 2 (1990)

He was cute and lovable, but not in an annoying way like those pissy Ewoks. And watching Gizmo as John Rambo was endlessly hilarious. Just as long as you don’t feed him after midnight or get water on him. And some other rule about sunlight. I can’t remember. He doesn’t tan well or something.

5. The Cave PeopleThe Descent (2005)

Really scary, these guys. They may have been blind, but they knew their way around those unfortunate caves. And they had big teeth. Like Gollum on crack.

4. Yoda – Star Wars Episodes I (1999), II (2002), III(2005), V (1980), VI (1983)

900 years old, infinitely wise and he still can’t get his wizened head around basic English grammar. Yet Yoda is still the coolest green dude around. Designed with the eyes of Albert Einstein and the voice of Miss Piggy, Yoda is definitely the cult symbol of ultimate mentor wisdom. Even more so than Mr. Miagi.

3. The PredatorsPredator (1987), Predator 2 (1990), Alien vs. Predator (2004)

“You’re one ugly mutha-fucka!” The eternal words of Arnie really do sum up these crazy, intergalactical safari hunters. Because really, they ain’t all that pretty. But they are damned cool. Invisibility, infra-red, lasers, these guys got it all.

2. The ThingThe Thing (1982)

This thing was THE thing. John Carpenter’s 1982 horror flick is the epitomy of old school creature effects. Best bit: The teeth-ridden cavernous mouth that appears in the guy’s stomach. Definitely the weirdest movie creature around, but not as balls-out unreal as….

1. The Aliens

Alien (1978), Aliens (1986), Alien 3 (1992), Alien Ressurection (1997), Alien vs. Predator (2004)

The scariest, the coolest and the best-designed creatures EVER! From their smooth dome to their snappy tongues to their acid blood, these  aliens have come to define science-fiction horror of our age. Sometimes, I felt like I was rooting for these guys over Sigourney Weaver. But only sometimes, cos Ridley was one of the coolest action heroes ever.

And the worst…

The LeprechaunLeprechaun (1993)

Whose fucking idea was this? Ooh, let’s exploit some more clichéd Irish myths by making a godawful horror film. Way more unintentionally funny than it could ever have been scary. And poor old Jennifer Aniston was in it. Bet she regrets that.

Disagree? Post your own top 10s below……

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35 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sean's face  |  March 15, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    Some really good choices here.
    Here are some other contenders for consideration:
    the aliens from The Abyss
    the Skekses from The Dark Crystal (For that matter, most of the creatures from that movie kicked ass. I always wanted one of those land strider things.)
    Pan from Pan’s Labyrinth
    the Rancor from Return of the Jedi
    the Mugwumps from Naked Lunch

    Reply
  • 2. name here  |  March 15, 2007 at 3:22 pm

    Rosie O’Donnel from “The View”
    Now that’s fucking scary….

    Reply
  • 3. Red  |  March 15, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    Agree about Rosie but would add Barbara Streisand as well.

    Reply
  • 4. dansdvds  |  March 15, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    Jennifer Tilly in Hide and Seek is a weird weird weird creature!

    Reply
  • 5. mattgunn  |  March 15, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    AWESOME post. Good choices, although surprisingly, there’s some creatures on your list who’s movies I haven’t yet seen.

    Like your site a lot, good work.

    Check out the top 10 childhood movie favorites post i put up on my blog today at http://www.mattgunn.ca

    -Matt

    Reply
  • 6. Bandit  |  March 15, 2007 at 9:43 pm

    Did you know that the actor Warwick Davis was both an Ewoc AND the Leprechaun from all the Leprechaun movies?

    Reply
  • 7. Linda ( mother of all the talent)  |  March 15, 2007 at 9:52 pm

    And there was King Kong ………………….the original and the best.
    And Edward Scissorhands………..aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhh
    Cool blog

    Reply
  • 8. corkeryd  |  March 15, 2007 at 11:20 pm

    Sean’s face:

    I considered the aliens from the Abyss, but thought they were too watery. Similarly that’s why the T-1000 didn’t make the cut. Of course they’re ridiculously cool in their own right, but I was going for more kinda creature effects, rather than computer effects (Gollum excluded)

    Good call with the skerkses, I didn’t even think of them. That really evil skerkses made the most hilarious noise whenever he was being devious.

    Pan is a good call, but I guess he was too fresh in my mind to stick. Most of my choices were nostlagia-based.

    The rancor I had on my list, but he didn’t make the top 10, poor ol fella. Plus, there was enough Star Wars characters in there.

    The Mugwumps were also in the top 20, but I dunno, they’re just…. too weird.

    Reply
  • 9. corkeryd  |  March 15, 2007 at 11:41 pm

    Rosie O Donnell and Barbara Streisand are creatures so hideous that they instantly topped the chart, but I couldn’t even have bared to scour for photos of them. Joan Rivers was originally third.

    Bandit – Ya, poor ol Warwick is the go-to ‘small person’ when it comes to the movies. And he had a great part in Extras.

    Linda (mother of all talent, apparently.) – King Kong was in the top 20, but he just wasn’t that original at the end of the day cos really….. he was just a big monkey. Ed Scissorhands though, forgot about him. He’s not really creatury enough though, is he? I mean, basically he’s just Johnny Depp with sharp fingers.

    Reply
  • […] Top 10… Movie Creatures […]

    Reply
  • 11. stjarna67  |  March 16, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    I think another addition to the LAME category should be the PUPPETMASTER things…..If they want to tap into a scary toy thing that’s way more universal, they need to focus on that bedroom scene in the movie POLTERGEIST with Carolyn’s older brother who tried to fall asleep in a room with a evil clown toy on a chair, facing his bed.

    that had WAY more potential in that one scene than the whole PUPPETMASTER movie.

    Reply
  • 12. MC  |  March 16, 2007 at 8:11 pm

    I thought the grabboids from Tremors should have made an appearance… and I’ve always been partial to the creeps from night of the Creeps as well.

    Kudos on recognizing the excellence of the Thing though.

    Reply
  • 13. The Polar One  |  March 17, 2007 at 1:59 am

    Nice list. Gizmo makes it but the actual gremlins don’t? Not sure about that. I might have stuck the japanese Godzilla in there, maybe Beetleguese, and Cookie Monster.

    I could list worsts for hours but Leprechaun is a sweet choice. I’d like to smash that things face in.

    Reply
  • 14. MC  |  March 17, 2007 at 4:55 am

    Oh Godzilla… how could I forget about that wonderous beast.

    Reply
  • 15. syahid ali  |  March 17, 2007 at 8:53 am

    hehe yoda should be number 1 😀

    Reply
  • 16. Matt  |  March 19, 2007 at 12:45 am

    Go Yoda and Jabba!

    Reply
  • 17. corkeryd  |  March 22, 2007 at 12:31 am

    Well, Godzilla, King Kong and the Tremors thingys were more giant monsters than creatures, but I did think of them.

    I’ve never seen Night of the Creeps, MC, but I must check it out.

    Ya, the Puppetmaster sucked, but not as much as that fucking leprechaun. I’m Irish, which makes him even more insulting.

    And as for the Cookie Monster, well…. he just hasn’t been the same since they forced him off his namesake snack. He has to, like, eat apples and shit now cos kids are so fat. Stupid fat kids.

    Reply
  • 18. Erica  |  March 22, 2007 at 1:04 am

    The host from the host

    Reply
  • 19. El Mostro  |  March 22, 2007 at 1:49 am

    The Thing, mi preferida.

    Reply
  • 20. Chris  |  March 22, 2007 at 10:16 am

    What about the Guyver, or the creatures from it?

    Reply
  • 21. Scott  |  March 22, 2007 at 3:57 pm

    How about the two headed monster from the movie Willow?

    Reply
  • 22. photodomo  |  March 23, 2007 at 3:17 am

    Simultaneously the worst and the best is Robot Monster:

    Reply
  • 23. corkeryd  |  March 23, 2007 at 11:28 am

    Haha! That’s one hairy robot!

    Reply
  • 24. crankywriter  |  March 24, 2007 at 2:49 am

    I’ve always liked Gollum…. he’s been my favorite….

    Reply
  • 25. Cyrus Poncha  |  March 24, 2007 at 7:45 pm

    what about darth vadar, creatures from harry potter & lord of the rings, et?

    Reply
  • 26. Donnie  |  March 24, 2007 at 9:24 pm

    MORLOCKS MORLOCKS MORLOCKS MORLOCKS MORLOCKS

    Reply
  • 27. silentdeb  |  March 25, 2007 at 7:24 am

    #8, the She-Witch’s name is actually Henrietta.
    (yes, I’m pathetic for feeling the need to point that out)

    Also from Evil Dead II, we can’t forget Evil Ed – or ChopTop, as the cast and crew called him …

    Reply
  • 28. krugern.no -|- Stian Domben Brdsen  |  March 25, 2007 at 8:49 am

    […] Top 10… Movie Creatures […]

    Reply
  • 29. corkeryd  |  March 25, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Did anyone else think that Evil ‘ChopTop’ Ed was the spitting image of the drummer in Queen?

    Reply
  • 30. Nrisimha Vijaya  |  March 26, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    how about the cenobites from hellraiser? ugly and evil muthafuckas!

    Reply
  • 31. syahid ali  |  March 27, 2007 at 8:40 am

    what about the guy from Star Wars. Remember Jar Jar Binks?

    Reply
  • 32. corkeryd  |  March 27, 2007 at 9:53 am

    Don’t mention that name here, syahid!

    Reply
  • […] Top ten movie creatures: Jabba should have been higher. […]

    Reply
  • 34. Igor  |  March 30, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    Видеокамеры охранные все гда тут http://www.securtv.ru

    Reply
  • 35. arkansassongbird  |  March 30, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    I so agree with you on your number one choice….the aliens are still the coolest scariest creatures ever. I was expecting to see E.T. on the list.

    Reply

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